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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Starbucks Unveils $7 Wake-Up Slap

SEATTLE—Touting it as an invigorating way to jumpstart your morning, Starbucks on Friday unveiled its new $7 wake-up slap. “This open-handed smack to the face is perfect for those days where you barely dragged yourself out of bed and really need a pick-me-up,” said spokeswoman Gina Barish, adding that the basic palm slap can be boosted with an extra-shot option that includes a stiff backhand across the other cheek. “You can also customize the width of the hand and the brawniness of the barista so you get hit as hard as you need to start your day off energized and ready to roll. You can just walk right up to the counter and get slapped, or have a cashier lean out the convenient drive-thru window and whack you without even having to park.” Barish went on to say that while the slap was a limited-time promotion, it could become a regular menu item along with last season’s five-gallon ice water drenching.

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Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

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