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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Stargate SG-1' Fans Disappointed To See Richard Dean Anderson Walk Onto Stage Like A Normal Person

NEW YORK—While explaining they were cognizant that no interstellar portals exist in real life, New York Comic Con attendees voiced frustrations Sunday after seeing Richard Dean Anderson, who played the character Jack O'Neill on Stargate SG-1, walk onto the stage as though he were "just some guy." "Obviously, I wasn't expecting them to build an actual working Stargate for him to walk through, but some flashing lights and dry ice or something would've been nice," said audience member Glenn Culson, who added that seeing Anderson in a Polo shirt and slacks rather than his official SGC team uniform was also somewhat underwhelming. "Or the sound. Just play the sound of the Stargate, at least. It wouldn't have been hard." Some Stargate SG-1 fans pointed out that since O'Neill was promoted and moved to Washington, D.C. in later seasons it actually made sense for Anderson not to utilize the Stargate technology.

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