adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Stars Of Canceled Show Terrified Fans Will Raise Money For Movie

LOS ANGELES—Following a recent spate of fan campaigns to revive canceled television series through the crowd-funding website Kickstarter, the cast of the short-lived NBC sitcom Animal Practice told reporters Monday they live in constant fear that fans of the show will raise enough money to turn it into a movie. “To all the viewers who supported our show on NBC and would love to see the next chapter of Animal Practice played out on the big screen, I can only say from the bottom of my heart: Please don’t ever do this,” lead actor Justin Kirk said in a direct plea to fans, noting that the nine-episode sitcom about a misanthropic veterinarian was terrible and that any campaign to revive it would make him and other cast members deeply upset. “I'll say it right here: Being a part of this show was a pretty bad career move and one that I’m trying to move past. Honestly, I would have to say that anyone who is a fan of the show has bad taste and I don’t really have any respect for them. Sorry, but I don’t.” At press time, sources confirmed that Microsoft founder Bill Gates had donated $20 million to the new Kickstarter campaign “Animal Practice Movie Project” with the accompanying note, “Mark my words, this movie will be made.”

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close