Stars Of Canceled Show Terrified Fans Will Raise Money For Movie

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Vol 49 Issue 13

Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl

An aquarium unveils its new 'Floating Carcasses of the Pacific' exhibit, a guy with 10,000 tweets and 15 followers is about ready to hang it up, and a local father buys string cheese to make coming to his house more fun. It's the week of March 29, 2013.

Arizona Gun Advocates Launch Free Shotgun Giveaway

A group funded by local gun enthusiasts’ donations announced plans to provide free shotguns to citizens in troubled sections of Tucson, AZ, the site of the 2011 mass shooting that left former congresswoman Gabby Giffords severely wounded.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Stars Of Canceled Show Terrified Fans Will Raise Money For Movie

LOS ANGELES—Following a recent spate of fan campaigns to revive canceled television series through the crowd-funding website Kickstarter, the cast of the short-lived NBC sitcom Animal Practice told reporters Monday they live in constant fear that fans of the show will raise enough money to turn it into a movie. “To all the viewers who supported our show on NBC and would love to see the next chapter of Animal Practice played out on the big screen, I can only say from the bottom of my heart: Please don’t ever do this,” lead actor Justin Kirk said in a direct plea to fans, noting that the nine-episode sitcom about a misanthropic veterinarian was terrible and that any campaign to revive it would make him and other cast members deeply upset. “I'll say it right here: Being a part of this show was a pretty bad career move and one that I’m trying to move past. Honestly, I would have to say that anyone who is a fan of the show has bad taste and I don’t really have any respect for them. Sorry, but I don’t.” At press time, sources confirmed that Microsoft founder Bill Gates had donated $20 million to the new Kickstarter campaign “Animal Practice Movie Project” with the accompanying note, “Mark my words, this movie will be made.”

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