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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Stars Of Canceled Show Terrified Fans Will Raise Money For Movie

LOS ANGELES—Following a recent spate of fan campaigns to revive canceled television series through the crowd-funding website Kickstarter, the cast of the short-lived NBC sitcom Animal Practice told reporters Monday they live in constant fear that fans of the show will raise enough money to turn it into a movie. “To all the viewers who supported our show on NBC and would love to see the next chapter of Animal Practice played out on the big screen, I can only say from the bottom of my heart: Please don’t ever do this,” lead actor Justin Kirk said in a direct plea to fans, noting that the nine-episode sitcom about a misanthropic veterinarian was terrible and that any campaign to revive it would make him and other cast members deeply upset. “I'll say it right here: Being a part of this show was a pretty bad career move and one that I’m trying to move past. Honestly, I would have to say that anyone who is a fan of the show has bad taste and I don’t really have any respect for them. Sorry, but I don’t.” At press time, sources confirmed that Microsoft founder Bill Gates had donated $20 million to the new Kickstarter campaign “Animal Practice Movie Project” with the accompanying note, “Mark my words, this movie will be made.”

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