adBlockCheck

Sports

Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For Mazda

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at home, said Thursday his loyalty to the car manufacturer was so strong that he would be willing to kill in its name.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News

Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin To Staff: 'What If Ben Roethlisberger Is Bad?'

PITTSBURGH—Following Sunday's 21-14 loss to the New York Giants, in which Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger threw for 189 yards and four interceptions, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin posited to his coaching staff the notion that Roethlisberger might actually be a bad football player. "What if we've convinced ourselves that he's good because we desperately wanted a star quarterback, but the truth is that he's actually pretty bad, and his occasional good games are just flukes?" Tomlin was overheard saying to offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who later told reporters that Pittsburgh coaches, players, and fans have come close to asking this very same question about Roethlisberger's play before, only stopping short for fear of what that answer might be. "I mean, we won a Super Bowl with him in 2005, but did he lead the team to that win or were the running game, receiving core, and defense so solid that we won it with a bad quarterback? Oh, Jesus." Roethlisberger signed an eight-year, $102 million extension with the team in March.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close