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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Steelers Fans

STRENGTHS: Somehow pull off rooting for a team that always wins without coming off like Patriots fans; good at waving things, spinning things; best fans in the world

WEAKNESSES: Still sort of like Terry Bradshaw; still sort of cheer for Ben Roethlisberger; even the personal towels in their homes are pretty terrible

CATCHPHRASE: "Yeaaahhhaarrryawooaghrghggh!!!"

RESPOND WELL TO: Being told to make noise; being told to make more noise

INFLUENCES: Sam Kinison; Attica Prison riot; howler monkeys

NEXT: Aaron Rodgers

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