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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Steelers Jersey Worn To Pirates Game

PITTSBURGH—Despite the football season having ended nearly five months ago, and the absence of Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward from the Pirates' 40-man roster, local resident Heath Janoski, 28, wore Ward's No. 86 Steelers jersey to Wednesday night's Pittsburgh Pirates–St. Louis Cardinals baseball game. "I don't really own any Pirates stuff," said Janoski, who also brought a Terrible Towel and a "Cleveland Sucks" billboard to the nine-inning contest. "I think I had a Pirate Parrot doll when I was younger, but I'm pretty sure I ripped its head off when they didn't make the World Series in 1992." With the Pirates up to bat in the bottom of the third inning, Janoski started a "Here we go Steelers" chant which was immediately taken up by the 13,000 fans in attendance and repeated sporadically throughout the rest of the game.

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