adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Steinbrenner: Torre's Job In Jeopardy If He Doesn't Win Grapefruit League

TAMPA, FL—New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner informed reporters yesterday that manager Joe Torre could face firing if the Yankees do not emerge from spring training as Grapefruit League champions. "I expect—and our great fans in Tampa demand—Joe Torre to bring the Grapefruit League championship home every year," said Steinbrenner, adding that Torre will also be "held to the Yankee standard" in both simulated and intrasquad games. "Though Joe has had success in the past, we haven't brought the Grapefruit League trophy home to Legends Field in I don't know how long." Steinbrenner added that he has given Torre every possible resource he should need to finally defeat the Grapefruit League's longstanding dynasty, the Kansas City Royals.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close