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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Stephen A. Smith's Dismissive Attitude Toward Hockey Gets People To Like Hockey

NEW YORK—ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith recently made several dismissive remarks about ice hockey this week, causing Americans across the country to flock to the sport in droves, sources confirmed Sunday. “Up until about a week ago, I never cared about hockey one way or the other, but ever since I saw Stephen A. Smith criticize the game, I’ve been a huge fan,” said local man Paul Bradford, echoing the sentiment of millions of Americans, who since the polemical sportscaster derided hockey have fanatically followed every wrinkle of the newly popular sport. “He said he doesn’t like it when a hockey game is low-scoring. Well, I love when that happens. Because I love hockey. It’s my favorite sport.” Bradford added that, in a further show of solidarity against any and all of Smith’s viewpoints, he and the rest of the nation would continue not watching the NBA.

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