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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Steve Nash Has Emotional Goodbye With Host Family

PHOENIX—With his Suns season over and a new team likely in the future for free agent Steve Nash, the Canadian point guard spent an emotional final day with his American host family, the Berkleys, Sunday. "Steve has been such a joy to have around, so polite and such a great role model for [our son] Ben," said Lisa Berkley, Nash’s host mother, who Nash claimed makes the best mac and cheese he’s ever tasted. "He struggled to adjust a bit at first—there were a lot of tears that first year—but eventually people stopped picking on him and he really became part of the family. I’m going to miss driving him to practice every morning." Nash, who will be returning to his home country for the summer, said he expects to find hosts in another city in time for next season, adding that he hopes his next family lets him stay up just as late playing Xbox 360 as the Berkleys did.

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