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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Steven Spielberg Claims He Dislikes Black Actors To Get Out Of Cannes Jury Duty

CANNES, FRANCE—In a brazen attempt to avoid serving jury duty and missing work days, film director and head festival juror Steven Spielberg told the organizing committee of the 2013 Cannes Film Festival that he strongly dislikes black actors. “I feel compelled to report to you that I have a personal bias against black actors and actresses that would necessarily impair my ability to carry out judicial responsibilities at the Cannes International Film Festival with integrity, impartiality, and competence,” Spielberg reportedly told Cannes officials, adding that he has always held these views and that he would therefore be a “poor choice” to judge films fairly over the next 12 days. “Since I do not wish my strong opinions on race to sway, obstruct, or in any way influence the jury’s final verdict, I recommend that you replace me with an alternate, such as acclaimed director and producer Ron Howard, for instance.” At press time, sources confirmed that skeptical officials had denied Spielberg’s motion for recusal and the director had sullenly accepted his $40 daily stipend.

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