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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Storybook Romance Leads To In-Flight-Magazine Marriage

MORRISTOWN, NJ–A romance straight out of a storybook has led to a marriage straight out of an in-flight magazine, it was reported Monday. "Matthew and Lorraine DeRoia, who wed one year ago after the kind of magical courtship you read about in fairytales, now live the kind of lives that are as exciting as an in-flight magazine, industry trade journal, or dental-health brochure," said Larry Garber, who lives next door to the utterly-bored-with-each-other DeRoias.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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