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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Straight, Gay Service Members Looking Forward To Asking, Telling Come September

WASHINGTON—With Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the policy on gay men and women serving in the military, set to expire Sept. 20, tens of thousands of U.S. service members are reportedly busy gearing up for marathon sessions of asking and telling. "Finally, after years of being silent about my sexual orientation, I can get all this built-up telling out of my system," Cpl. Kevin Lassally said Thursday, telling reporters he had already made an exhaustive mental inventory of all the people he was going to ask. "I think I'll probably send out a bulk e-mail to get my telling over with all at once. That way, I can free up most of my time for asking. Man, this is gonna be great. I'm totally asking the colonel." Pentagon officials said they have canceled two planned invasions in anticipation of the military slowdown expected to occur while troops are getting all their asking and telling out of the way.

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