Straight, Gay Service Members Looking Forward To Asking, Telling Come September

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Vol 47 Issue 50

Those We Lost In 2011

Once again, the world experienced several million deaths over the course of a year. Five of those people who died were famous.

2011: Politics

Party brinksmanship in Congress has led to the government nearly shutting down on multiple occasions this year.
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    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Straight, Gay Service Members Looking Forward To Asking, Telling Come September

WASHINGTON—With Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the policy on gay men and women serving in the military, set to expire Sept. 20, tens of thousands of U.S. service members are reportedly busy gearing up for marathon sessions of asking and telling. "Finally, after years of being silent about my sexual orientation, I can get all this built-up telling out of my system," Cpl. Kevin Lassally said Thursday, telling reporters he had already made an exhaustive mental inventory of all the people he was going to ask. "I think I'll probably send out a bulk e-mail to get my telling over with all at once. That way, I can free up most of my time for asking. Man, this is gonna be great. I'm totally asking the colonel." Pentagon officials said they have canceled two planned invasions in anticipation of the military slowdown expected to occur while troops are getting all their asking and telling out of the way.

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