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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Strange New Culture Forming On Other End Of Office

HOUSTON—Pointing to the group’s radically divergent behaviors and customs, employees at local software firm Pendant Systems confirmed Friday that a strange new culture appears to be forming among their coworkers at the other end of the office. “Somehow, the account management team has forged a society all its own, one that is markedly different from anything we’ve ever seen among the cubicles on this floor,” product development chief Stephen Cheng said of the curious micro-civilization, noting its inhabitants display highly unique work habits and modes of dress. “Within their isolated community, they appear to have developed their own power structure, and they often communicate in a bizarre, shorthand language of inside jokes that no one from outside the group can understand. They’ve even begun to congregate at an establishment down the street where they meet to have drinks and recount stories from the previous week. It’s truly remarkable.” Cheng added that while it is unlikely his own department and members of the offshoot culture will ever learn to coexist in any meaningful way, it has not stopped several of his own people from attempting to mate with their women.

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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