Struggling US Airways Introduces $100 Million Bomb Fee

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 03

Air America Ceases Operations

As of Thursday, liberal radio network Air America stopped all live programming and announced it was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do...

Lane Kiffin Leaves USC For Dream Job At GameStop

LOS ANGELES—During his introductory press conference as USC's new head coach last Wednesday, Lane Kiffin told reporters that he would be leaving the school indefinitely to pursue his dream of working at GameStop.

Good-Looking One Not Working Today

BROOKLYN, NY—Coffee shop patron Justin Burke was disappointed by the Good-Looking One's absence, and admitted that he initially mistook the One With The Slightly Off Face for the Good-Looking One, but quickly realized his error once she turned around.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage



Struggling US Airways Introduces $100 Million Bomb Fee

TEMPE, AZ—With holiday traffic down almost 4 percent compared to last year and business continuing to decline, US Airways announced Monday that it would allow VIP customers to bring bombs on board its flights for a one-time $100 million fee. "At US Airways, we want to show the world that we're willing to go the distance for customers our competitors repeatedly ignore," a press release read in part. "Your enrollment fee grants you full access to our prestigious Bomber's Club at participating airports, early boarding with choice of seat, the option to bring aboard knives and guns for a small additional surcharge, and allowance for an extra carry-on, which can of course be used for your bomb." The airline noted that an additional $50 million dollar deposit was required and would not be refunded in the event of a detonation.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More