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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Stuart Scott Tells Friends To 'Watch This' Before Trying To Get Into Charles Barkley's Party

LAS VEGASSportsCenter host Stuart Scott reportedly straightened his shirt collar, tugged twice on the lapels of his sport jacket, smoothed out his eyebrows, and told onlookers to "watch the master" before attempting to gain entry for himself and his colleagues to a party hosted by former NBA All-Star Charles Barkley. "This is how it's done, young'uns," Scott was overheard telling fellow SportsCenter anchors Mike Greenberg and Rece Davis, adding that "when Chuck realizes he almost made Stuart Scott and his peeps wait in line, we'll drink free all night." "Hope you fellas are ready to party." Greenburg and Davis said Scott offered no explanation as to why they were allowed entry to the party while Scott, who attempted to call their cell phones from the parking lot several times before apparently leaving two hours later, was not.

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