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Study: 38 Age It Too Late

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

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BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

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In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Study: 38 Age It Too Late

BALTIMORE—After years of observing people in their late 30s to early 40s, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have determined that once an individual reaches 38 years of age it is too late to make any meaningful life changes. "Our analysis indicates that if people turn 38 before getting the job they always wanted, meeting that special someone with whom they can settle down, or accepting themselves for who they are, they never will," said study coordinator Dr. Erik Heuer, adding that those who haven't "figured things out" by their late 30s die sad, miserable, and alone 100 percent of the time. "In order to bolster our findings, we observed several subjects ages 38 and above who attempted to finally resolve their troubled relationship with a parent or write that novel that's been kicking around in their head, and the results were, well, very sad to say the least." The study has been criticized in peer-review by multiple scientists aged 38 and older, many of whom said they are going to yoga and learning Korean cooking and that it's really going quite well.

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