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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Study: 83% Of Web Content Unfit For Human Consumption

GAINESVILLE, FL—Warning about the dangers of prolonged exposure to toxic text, graphics, and videos, a study released Thursday by the University of Florida found that 83 percent of web content is wholly unfit for human consumption. “Our data showed that the vast majority of online material proved to be fetid, noxious, or otherwise detrimental to an individual’s well-being,” said the study’s lead researcher, Jenny Pridham, who recorded hundreds of extremely adverse reactions among adults who made direct contact with one or more pieces of entertainment news, lists, advertisements, or viral content. “Participants typically reported feeling mild irritation to severe discomfort and even intense nausea. The research determined that even content that may at first seem palatable is not good for you, as it often contains dangerous byproducts in the form of harmful autoplaying video and sponsored links to partner websites.” The study also revealed that zero percent of internet content was currently considered suitable for children and could lead to lifelong cognitive defects.

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