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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Study: American Spiritual Epiphanies Increasingly Juice-Based

LOS ANGELES—American spiritual epiphanies are becoming increasingly juice-based, according to a report released Tuesday by the UCLA Department of Theology. "In the past, spiritual awakenings usually revolved around religious faith or personal convictions," the report read. "But today, Americans are turning to the healing and enriching power of such tea and fruit-juice blends as Fruitopia 'Strawberry-Passion Awareness' and Sobe's 'Wisdom' and 'Zen Blend,' for their spiritual fulfillment." Following the report, Ocean Spray announced plans for a line of Zoroastrian grape-cranberry blends.

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