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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Americans Enjoy Watching TV, Eating

WASHINGTON—According to a new study published Monday by the Pew Research Center, Americans enjoy watching television and eating. “Our research indicates that residents of the United States take great pleasure in watching television, often for many hours at once, and enjoy eating food in large quantities, preferably several or more times per day,” lead author Dr. Richard Cowell said of the study, which follows an earlier report that concluded the nation greatly prefers sitting to standing. “Our findings also suggest Americans enjoy watching television and eating at the same time.” According to the study, Americans do not enjoy being hungry or having no TV.

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