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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Study: Depression Up Among Teenage Girls Able To Perceive Any Part Of World Around Them

WALTHAM, MA—Calling it nothing short of a mental health crisis for the group, a study published Monday in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that depression was up sharply among teenage girls able to perceive any part of the world around them. “Our research has shown a significant increase in anxiety and depression among 13- to 19-year-old girls who are capable of taking in stimuli from their surroundings and processing them into an understanding of the outside world,” said study author Natalie Ogilvy, adding that an ability to observe day-to-day existence, comprehend media, or register any of their own personal experiences were among some of the strongest predictors of emotional difficulties for teenage girls­. “In addition, we noticed even more pronounced depressive symptoms among female adolescents who not only can perceive their environment, but who also have the capacity to retain memories of what they have witnessed. Teenage girls who are able to imagine themselves even seconds into their future circumstances were the most vulnerable of them all.” While depression peaked among teenage girls able to perceive the world around them, the researchers also found that it manifested itself in early childhood or even infancy, particularly among newborn girls able to open their eyes.

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