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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Study Finds No Logical Reason Why Planes Fly

PALO ALTO, CA—According to a recent study conducted by a team of physicists at Stanford University, there is no logical explanation why airplanes are able to fly through the air. "We understand the concepts of 'lift' and 'thrust,' but airplanes weigh like 800,000 pounds," head researcher Gabe Koplowitz said. "How does a huge metal tube just float up there in the sky without falling? And it's not even 'floating,' really, even though it looks like it is, because it's going 500 mph. Which means that when I'm sitting in an airplane, I'm actually going 500 mph, too. Me, Gabe Koplowitz. Jesus, how come we all don't vomit or have our hair blow back?" The study posited a number of potential theories to explain the phenomenon, including wind propulsion, suspension of gravity, and the possibility that clouds "pull" the plane skyward. The Stanford team plans to devote the next two years to a new study on why telephones hear.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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