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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Study Finds You Irrelevant To Success Or Failure Of Bollywood Film ‘Zanjeer’

BALTIMORE—According to a new study released Monday by researchers at Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Advanced Media Studies, you are totally and utterly inconsequential to the success or failure of the upcoming Bollywood film Zanjeer. “Our data clearly indicates that, ultimately, your opinion on Zanjeer—whether positive, negative, or completely indifferent—will be of absolutely no consequence whatsoever to the ₹75 crore Indian action film’s performance at the box office,” said the report’s lead author Dr. Julianne Wright, confirming that the reputation of director Apoorva Lakhia will not hinge in the slightest upon whether you see the film or whether you are even aware of its existence. “According to the findings, you will have absolutely no impact on the future acting careers of Zanjeer stars Ram Charan and Priyanka Chopra, as well as supporting ensemble cast members Prakash Raj, Sanjay Dutt, and Atul Kulkarni. You are, simply put, a non-factor in whether this modern remake of Prakash Mehr’s classic 1973 action-thriller buoys or sinks Flying Turtle Films’ commercial fortunes.” Wright added that, despite the fact that you will play no role in the film’s critical or commercial reception, you should still see Zanjeer due to Charan’s riveting portrayal of Inspector Vijay Khanna, which is said to rival Amitabh Bachchan’s performance in the original.

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