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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Study: Floating Heap Of Trash Now Ocean’s Apex Predator

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Noting that no marine species posed a threat and the total domination of its habitat, a study released Wednesday by researchers at the University of California, Santa Barbara revealed that the floating mass of trash known as the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is now the ocean’s apex predator. “We examined various aquatic food chains from top to bottom and determined that no other species comes close to challenging the garbage patch’s supremacy in the northern Pacific Ocean,” said Dr. Rebecca Corson, adding that the Texas-sized expanse of discarded plastics and chemical sludge easily displaced such large carnivores as the tiger shark and orca whale from their former place atop the marine pecking order. “The garbage patch can thrive in every ocean climate and devours whatever is in its path, whether it is plants, animals, or thousands of discarded styrofoam takeout containers.” Corson added that at the current rate of growth, the buoyant mass of marine debris would surpass humans as earth’s most dominant force by 2045.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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