adBlockCheck

Recent News

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Human Hearing Most Acute When Listening To Arguing Parents From Top Of Stairs

ELMHURST, IL—A study released Wednesday by the American Hearing Research Foundation has found that humans’ sense of hearing is most acute when listening to an argument between one’s parents from the top of a staircase. “According to our research, human auditory acuity reaches its peak when subjects quietly sneak out of their bedrooms at night and either sit down on the top stair or press their faces between the balusters of the railing as their parents exchange heated words in the kitchen below,” said study author Gordon Humphries, noting that these heightened auditory capabilities allow individuals to effortlessly block out all other sources of noise in order to clearly perceive the sound waves generated by one’s mother saying, “I just can’t do this anymore.” “Under these circumstances, humans display a remarkable ability to distinguish even those arguments spoken in a hushed or whispered tone, particularly those containing the words ‘divorce,’ ‘separation,’ ‘custody,’ or the subject’s own name.” Researchers said subjects’ auditory abilities may grow even more acute in the hours after overhearing the initial argument, with subjects reportedly capable of making out their father sobbing as softly as 10 decibels through a bedroom wall.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close