adBlockCheck

Recent News

What Is Trump Hiding?

As The Onion’s 300,000 staffers in its news bureaus and manual labor camps around the world continue to pore through the immense trove of documents obtained from an anonymous White House source, the answers that are emerging to these questions are deeply unnerving and suggest grave outcomes for the American people, the current international order, Wolf Blitzer, four of the five Great Lakes, and most devastatingly, the nation’s lighthouses and lighthouse keepers.

Deep Blue Quietly Celebrates 10th Anniversary With Garry Kasparov’s Ex-Wife

PITTSBURGH—Red wine and candlelight on the table before them, Deep Blue, the supercomputer that defeated reigning world chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, and Kasparov’s ex-wife, Yulia Vovk, quietly celebrated their 10th anniversary on Wednesday at a small French restaurant near Carnegie Mellon University, where Deep Blue was created.

A Timeline Of Aviation History

This Saturday marks 90 years since aviator Charles Lindbergh made his historic first nonstop solo transatlantic flight from New York to Paris aboard the Spirit Of St. Louis. The Onion takes a look back at the most important milestones in the history of aviation.

Zales Introduces New Line Of Casual Dating Diamond Rings

IRVING, TX—In a move aimed at reaching the millions of Americans just having a little fun for now, jewelry retailer Zales announced Thursday that it has expanded its product line to include a brand-new collection of diamond casual dating rings.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Major Shift In Media Landscape Occurs Every 6 Seconds

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—A study published Tuesday by Rutgers University’s Center for Media Studies reported that a major shift in the media landscape occurs approximately once every six seconds, confirming that the way information is transmitted and received in our culture is radically altered over 10 separate times in one minute. “Based on our research, we can now confirm that in the span of just one day, the conventions of the media as we know it will transform thousands of times, with over 800 reinventions of the rules of journalism in the digital age, 450 completely new ways of looking at how news is disseminated, 900 shifts in the way people and media institutions interact and share information, and 8,000 game-changing technological breakthroughs that will forever change how the word ‘media’ itself is defined,” said Professor of Media Studies Roger Scherer, noting that the study did not account for the 64 total paradigm shifts in the media landscape that have occurred in the hours since its release. “We also know that every four seconds, new social trends cause the rise of new spheres of global interaction, which we all—every single one of us—must adapt to within minutes.” A follow-up study later confirmed that this article, the social media site used to access this article, and the person reading this article are all part of a vastly outdated mode of communication.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close