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Study: Online Content Creators Outnumber Consumers 2,000 To 1

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Study: Online Content Creators Outnumber Consumers 2,000 To 1

WASHINGTON—According to a study published Monday by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, for every person who reads, listens to, or watches some form of media on the internet, there are approximately 2,000 individuals engaged in creating new online content. “In terms of web-based entertainment, journalism, and personal opinion pieces, creators now outnumber consumers by a factor of several hundred thousand percent—meaning that for every one viewer, there are dozens of fully staffed companies churning out articles, videos, blogs, vlogs, and countless social media posts hoping to lure that person to click,” said bureau commissioner Erica Groshen, adding that during each minute of online video streamed by a consumer, another whole lifetime’s worth of video content is uploaded. “Furthermore, our analysis found that the massive increase in internet usage over the past two decades was due almost entirely to people going online to publish text or images they themselves had produced and then repeatedly hitting the refresh button to see if anyone else has looked at their work.” Reports later confirmed that the six people who worked on this article are the only ones currently reading it.

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