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Study: Owning A Boat Not Worth It

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The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

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Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

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Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

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Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

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How To Prepare A Will

Writing a will ensures the proper distribution of your assets upon your death. The Onion takes you through the steps of preparing this important document
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Study: Owning A Boat Not Worth It

YONKERS, NY—According to a study published in the April issue of Boating Magazine, owning a boat is not even close to worth it. "Our study proved conclusively that boat-ownership is primarily an inconvenience and a monetary black hole," editor Roger Bernbaum said. "We found little to no reason to keep that thing sitting in a shed all winter just so you can tow it to the lake and pay outrageous docking fees three weekends a year. It'd be much more cost-efficient to don a yachting cap and hang out at the dockhouse." The May issue of Boating promises to explore the financial viability of seaside vacation homes.

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