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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed

BALTIMORE—According to a study published Monday in Psychological Bulletin, more than 83 percent of suicides take place when an individual is faced with the task of putting a fitted sheet onto a mattress. "In the majority of these cases, people end their lives after trying in vain to get the short side of the sheet onto the long side of the bed, and at least one-third kill themselves after struggling with the final corner only to realize it is their own body weight preventing the sheet from stretching far enough," said Johns Hopkins University psychologist Dr. Khalil Mazarhi, adding that suicide victims are usually discovered in close proximity to fitted sheets that are either partially covering a mattress or balled up in a corner of the room. "The tragic irony of this phenomenon is that a significant number of people will actually use the sheet to hang themselves." The study concludes with a recommendation that, for personal safety, fitted sheets only be handled when a second person is present.

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