adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts

BLOOMINGTON, IN—A new study published Friday by researchers at Indiana University revealed that U.S. citizens waste approximately 2 million hours annually trying to figure out where a roll of tape starts. “According to our data, thousands of hours are squandered each day by Americans running their fingers along the outside of a roll of tape until they stumble upon the frayed edge where the tape begins,” said the study’s co-author Bethany Cohen, who noted that the amount of time Americans fritter away bringing the roll of tape up close to their face and slowly tracing their fingertips around its perimeter accounts for nearly $15 billion annually in lost productivity. “Furthermore, we discovered that when Americans eventually find where the tape starts, they waste an additional 4 million hours per year meticulously picking at the tape with a fingernail until they have a large enough tab to peel back the adhesive material.” The study also found that $700 million worth of tape is lost annually when a useless, narrow part of the piece sticks to the roll and accumulates around the edge.


More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close