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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Stupid Magazine Ranks Some Stupid Crap

NEW YORK, NY—Fling magazine, the "magazine for on-the-go twentysomethings," arbitrarily ranked a bunch of stupid crap from 1 to 10 in its new September issue, providing those included in the list with a false sense of validation and Fling with something to put on its cover. "We are number one," said a member of the group ranked first. "This magazine ranking proves it!" In addition to exciting those included near the top of the list, the survey excited editors of other stupid publications, who found the stupid rankings to be a perfect editorial space-filler. According to Fling editor Michael Klein, the magazine plans to rank as much other crap as possible in the future, as making up lists lends a publication importance and credibility.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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