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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Success Of Recent At Bat Inspires Justin Upton To Learn More About Hitting Capabilities Of Wood

PHOENIX—Observing the positive result achieved by using his bat to smash a baseball into left field, Diamondbacks right fielder Justin Upton announced to teammates and coaches Monday that he had been motivated to study the hitting capacity of wood, the naturally occurring organic lignin-cellulose composite. "I decided to acquire a number of books about wood from the library, and I was quite surprised to read that wood comes from trees or shrubs," said Upton, who admitted that the new information had precipitated a personal paradigm shift in regard to his assumptions about baseball bats. "While there is some knowledge I can acquire from reading, I believe it will eventually be necessary to perform a number of trials to test the interactions of kinetic energy, acceleration, wood, and ball in a controlled batting-cage environment." In 2007, Upton conducted an experiment to determine the number of stitches on a baseball, but abandoned the endeavor when he concluded that baseballs were too curvy to establish a proper tally.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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