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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Superstitious Baseball Player Always Steps Into Batter’s Box Before Swinging At Pitches

MILWAUKEE—While speaking to reporters prior to Saturday’s game against the St. Louis Cardinals, Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun admitted he consistently follows an elaborate, superstitious routine in which he always makes sure to step into the batter’s box before swinging at pitches. “I know it’s crazy, but I’ve just got to have my feet planted firmly in that box before I’ll even so much as look at a pitch,” said Braun, noting that his complex at-bat ritual also includes gripping his bat with both hands and making sure to face the pitcher at all times. “A lot of the guys make fun of me because I’m always tapping my bat on the plate to make sure I’m positioned correctly and putting most of my weight on my back leg before taking a hack, but, really, baseball players all have weird little quirks like that. Hey, whatever works, you know?” The superstitious ballplayer added that he also follows the game’s more traditionally observed practices, such as making sure to step directly on the foul lines when coming on or off the field and enthusiastically discussing a no-hitter in progress to make sure the pitcher is aware of it.

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