adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Supreme Court Justice Application Asks For 3 Sample Opinions

WASHINGTON—The White House announced Tuesday that job seekers hoping to fill Justice David Souter's Supreme Court seat must complete an application that includes three sample court rulings, each citing at least two federal precedents. After listing their level of education and recent work history, all applicants must fill out the form with one majority opinion, one dissenting opinion, and one decision of their choice. "It's very important that a justice have hands-on experience with the Constitution, and this helps us get a feel for whether an applicant would be a good fit for our organization," President Barack Obama said. "It's okay to attach an extra sheet if you need more room." Obama added that interested parties should stop by the White House during normal business hours and ask for Rahm, who will give them a form they can fill out in the lobby or the coffee shop across the street.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close