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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Supreme Court Justice Application Asks For 3 Sample Opinions

WASHINGTON—The White House announced Tuesday that job seekers hoping to fill Justice David Souter's Supreme Court seat must complete an application that includes three sample court rulings, each citing at least two federal precedents. After listing their level of education and recent work history, all applicants must fill out the form with one majority opinion, one dissenting opinion, and one decision of their choice. "It's very important that a justice have hands-on experience with the Constitution, and this helps us get a feel for whether an applicant would be a good fit for our organization," President Barack Obama said. "It's okay to attach an extra sheet if you need more room." Obama added that interested parties should stop by the White House during normal business hours and ask for Rahm, who will give them a form they can fill out in the lobby or the coffee shop across the street.

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