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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Surinamese Man Struggling To Write The Great Surinamese Novel

BROKOPONDO, SURINAME—Aspiring author Nikklis Doekhie said Monday that he continues in his struggle to write the Great Surinamese Novel. "I want this book to capture the essence of the Surinamese experience," Doekhie said. "Dési, the wide-eyed protagonist, quits his job in a bauxite mine to hitchhike from Paramaribo to Alalapadu, searching for his piece of the Surinamese Dream." Doekhie said he hopes to pitch the book to Suriname's publishing house this fall.

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