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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis

ORLANDO—The Orlando Magic were forced to evacuate the Amway Center prior to their game against Milwaukee Friday after team officials called security to investigate a large, suspicious duffel bag that turned out to be forward Glen Davis. "I thought it might have been a bag filled with extra basketballs, but when it started making strange noises, we had to call it in," said head trainer Keon Weise, who was the first to notice Glen Davis propped up atop a seat at the end of Orlando’s bench. "I feel terrible that nobody realized it was [Davis] until after security detonated him." The incident follows last week's report of a large animal finding its way into the locker room, which resulted in Orlando animal control officials mistakenly tranquilizing, tagging, and releasing Hedo Turkoglu.

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