adBlockCheck

Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis

ORLANDO—The Orlando Magic were forced to evacuate the Amway Center prior to their game against Milwaukee Friday after team officials called security to investigate a large, suspicious duffel bag that turned out to be forward Glen Davis. "I thought it might have been a bag filled with extra basketballs, but when it started making strange noises, we had to call it in," said head trainer Keon Weise, who was the first to notice Glen Davis propped up atop a seat at the end of Orlando’s bench. "I feel terrible that nobody realized it was [Davis] until after security detonated him." The incident follows last week's report of a large animal finding its way into the locker room, which resulted in Orlando animal control officials mistakenly tranquilizing, tagging, and releasing Hedo Turkoglu.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close