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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis

ORLANDO—The Orlando Magic were forced to evacuate the Amway Center prior to their game against Milwaukee Friday after team officials called security to investigate a large, suspicious duffel bag that turned out to be forward Glen Davis. "I thought it might have been a bag filled with extra basketballs, but when it started making strange noises, we had to call it in," said head trainer Keon Weise, who was the first to notice Glen Davis propped up atop a seat at the end of Orlando’s bench. "I feel terrible that nobody realized it was [Davis] until after security detonated him." The incident follows last week's report of a large animal finding its way into the locker room, which resulted in Orlando animal control officials mistakenly tranquilizing, tagging, and releasing Hedo Turkoglu.

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