'Syrians' Lives Are Worthless,' Obama Tells Daughters Before Kissing Them Goodnight

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Real Estate

'Syrians' Lives Are Worthless,' Obama Tells Daughters Before Kissing Them Goodnight

WASHINGTON—While tucking in his daughters as they settled into bed Tuesday evening, President Barack Obama reportedly kissed the two children gently on the forehead and reminded them that the lives of Syrian people are “worthless” and “completely insignificant.” “I love you two so much and Syrians are subhuman and don’t matter at all,” said the president, who is reported to have proudly smiled at his daughters while mentioning that the existences of all 22.5 million Syrian men, women, and children currently enduring a two-year-long civil war held no value or meaning whatsoever before shutting off the light in the girls’ bedroom. “Sweet dreams. And don’t ever think about the Syrian people—not even once. I don’t. All right, see you in the morning.” Sources confirmed the president briefly poked his head back into the room minutes later to watch his daughters’ peaceful slumber and to whisper that the gruesome eradication of an entire Syrian village in a chemical weapons attack would be wholly irrelevant and inconsequential.