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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Table Tennis Star Wang Hao Out 4 Weeks With Sprained Knuckle

CHANGCHUN, JILIN PROVINCE—In a devastating turn of events that has shocked and saddened the world's sport fans, the earth's premiere athlete and No. 1–ranked table tennis superstar Wang Hao will be sidelined for a month after suffering a right knuckle sprain on his glorious index finger while training with intensity and grit. Wang, who partially tore the collateral ligament and damaged the proximal interphalangeal joint when his powerful finger slammed into the Masonite table surface in order to return service with infinite precision, is currently unable to maintain his famous pen-hold grip without acute physical discomfort, despite his superhuman tolerance for pain. Wang Hao is currently undergoing numerous MRIs and receiving many treatments and surgeries of the arthroscopic variety. Regardless of the setback, Chinese table tennis dominance is assured.鱼

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