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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Tampa Bay Rays: "Fuck You, Cubs"

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—On the eve of their very first World Series appearance in a short 10-year team history, the Tampa Bay Rays took time Tuesday to acknowledge the Chicago Cubs' decades-long absence from the Fall Classic.

"Hey, fuck you, you losers, you had every chance," the announcement read in part. "Great regular season, wasn't it? But you've been losing so long it's gotten good to you, hasn't it? And without losing in the playoffs, you just don't have much of a team identity, do you? Pathetic. Well, wish us luck—no, wait, we don't believe in luck, good or bad, because we went out and earned a place in the World Series." Baseball commissioner Bud Selig is expected to officially censure Rays management for the vulgar and undiplomatic nature of the announcement, but acknowledged Wednesday morning that "Christ, you've got to admit they have a point."

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