Tax Preparation Tips

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 15

Tickets Up, Concessions Down

As movie ticket sales reverse the downward trend they've been experiencing in recent years, concession sales have been stagnant or lower. What do...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Advertising

  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Customer Service

Tax Preparation Tips

Apr. 15 is rapidly approaching, and if you haven't filed your taxes yet, you'd better get started on them. Here are some tips to help you through this tough time of year:

When beginning your tax forms, make sure to do that thing where you make your calculator read "BOOBS" upside down right away so you don't get sidetracked later.

Pay your owed taxes in pennies. That will get you on the Yahoo! News front page, and it will most certainly make the IRS feel foolish.

Not putting that little dash through all of your sevens will result in a prison term of up to three years.

You will save significant time between now and the filing deadline if you complete all of your forms in a blind, sweaty panic 12 minutes before they are due.

If you are Yngwie Malmsteen, you can write off your subscription to Guitar World.

Screw over the IRS and save time and money by making less than $8,950 a year.

Here's a way to make taxes more fun and save money: Ask your friends for any old receipts they're not using, then make up stories for each one to tell the auditors.

Be courteous and include a sheet of scratch paper with your forms for the IRS to do math on.

Doing taxes can be a very long and arduous process, full of legal loopholes and pitfalls. Find someone else to file your client's forms.

It's not widely publicized, but now that all taxpayers are part owners of Merrill Lynch, you can use their bathrooms.

Not once does the Constitution of the United States of America mention an income tax. Keep screaming that when they take you to court for nonpayment of taxes.

Filling out your 1040EZ can be frustrating, but screaming at your wife, smashing a glass against the wall, and striking your child is never the right thing to do. You need form 4Y-1098 for that.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More