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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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Tax Preparation Tips

Apr. 15 is rapidly approaching, and if you haven't filed your taxes yet, you'd better get started on them. Here are some tips to help you through this tough time of year:

When beginning your tax forms, make sure to do that thing where you make your calculator read "BOOBS" upside down right away so you don't get sidetracked later.

Pay your owed taxes in pennies. That will get you on the Yahoo! News front page, and it will most certainly make the IRS feel foolish.

Not putting that little dash through all of your sevens will result in a prison term of up to three years.

You will save significant time between now and the filing deadline if you complete all of your forms in a blind, sweaty panic 12 minutes before they are due.

If you are Yngwie Malmsteen, you can write off your subscription to Guitar World.

Screw over the IRS and save time and money by making less than $8,950 a year.

Here's a way to make taxes more fun and save money: Ask your friends for any old receipts they're not using, then make up stories for each one to tell the auditors.

Be courteous and include a sheet of scratch paper with your forms for the IRS to do math on.

Doing taxes can be a very long and arduous process, full of legal loopholes and pitfalls. Find someone else to file your client's forms.

It's not widely publicized, but now that all taxpayers are part owners of Merrill Lynch, you can use their bathrooms.

Not once does the Constitution of the United States of America mention an income tax. Keep screaming that when they take you to court for nonpayment of taxes.

Filling out your 1040EZ can be frustrating, but screaming at your wife, smashing a glass against the wall, and striking your child is never the right thing to do. You need form 4Y-1098 for that.

More from this section

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

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