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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Taylor Swift Apparently Now Dating 'Garfield' Creator Jim Davis

NEW YORK—Following reports earlier this week of pop star Taylor Swift’s whirlwind romance with One Direction singer Harry Styles, sources confirmed today that Swift has moved on and is apparently now dating Garfield creator Jim Davis. “Taylor and Jim were first spotted canoodling in a SoHo bar last night, and we were able to confirm today that the two are indeed an item,” Gawker contributor Janice Reynolds wrote of the relationship between the nearly 23-year-old singer-songwriter and the 67-year-old syndicated cartoonist, nicknaming the couple “Tayvis.” “Just this morning, fans took several photos of the lovebirds leaving her Tribeca hotel hand in hand. They’re actually really cute together.” At press time, sources reported seeing the new couple board a private jet that was most likely bound for Davis’ home in Albany, IN.

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