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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Taylor Swift Enters Alternate Universe To Date Body-Building George Harrison

LOS ANGELES—In just the latest in a series of whirlwind romances, sources confirmed today that singer-songwriter Taylor Swift entered an alternate universe parallel to our own earlier this week and stepped out with famed English powerlifter George Harrison. “Taylor was spotted hand-in-hand with the former Mr. Universe on Tuesday night as the two entered West Hollywood restaurant Lucques,” said US Weekly reporter Rebecca Kelly of the blossoming courtship between the 23-year-old recording artist and her new three-time Olympiad beau from a divergent plane of reality. “After dating guys like Harry Styles and Conor Kennedy, Taylor was probably looking for a more muscular hunk like George Harrison. Who can blame her for traveling outside the temporal and spatial dimensions of our world to be with him?” Swift’s relationship with Harrison comes just weeks after the pop star had been spotted in a separate alternate universe with Seattle Seahawks running back Mohandas Gandhi.

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