adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Scientology Minister Accused Of Molesting Thetans

The Church of Scientology plunged into scandal Thursday when Frank D. Linehan, a prominent minister who has helped thousands of parishioners move up the Bridge to Total Freedom and achieve Clear, was arrested on 471 charges of molesting alien thetans.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
End Of Section
  • More News

Taylor Swift Mourns Death Of Boyfriend Christopher Dorner

BIG BEAR LAKE, CA—Another of Taylor Swift’s high-profile romances came to an abrupt end Tuesday, sources confirmed, following the death of the recording artist’s boyfriend and fugitive cop killer Christopher Dorner. “Taylor is absolutely heartbroken that her beau Christopher Dorner’s charred remains were found in a mountain cabin after a lengthy shootout with police yesterday,” wrote Radar Online blogger Amanda Snyder of the relationship between the 23-year-old pop-country singer and the 33-year-old quadruple homicide suspect, referring to the couple by their tabloid nickname “Swifner.” “Just two days ago, fans snapped pictures of the snowy lovebirds nuzzling noses on the slopes while vacationing at Bear Mountain Resort. It’s so sad—they were so cute together.” At press time, sources reported that Swift was seen entering Los Angeles Police Department headquarters hand in hand with police chief Charlie Beck.

UPDATE: Taylor Swift Back Together With Ex-Boyfriend Christopher Dorner.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close