Taylor Swift Now Dating Senator Joseph McCarthy

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Vol 49 Issue 13

Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl

An aquarium unveils its new 'Floating Carcasses of the Pacific' exhibit, a guy with 10,000 tweets and 15 followers is about ready to hang it up, and a local father buys string cheese to make coming to his house more fun. It's the week of March 29, 2013.

Arizona Gun Advocates Launch Free Shotgun Giveaway

A group funded by local gun enthusiasts’ donations announced plans to provide free shotguns to citizens in troubled sections of Tucson, AZ, the site of the 2011 mass shooting that left former congresswoman Gabby Giffords severely wounded.
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Taylor Swift Now Dating Senator Joseph McCarthy

APPLETON, WI—Weeks after stepping out in London with musician Tom Odell, sources confirmed that country crooner Taylor Swift has split with the British heartthrob and is now dating U.S. senator Joseph R. McCarthy (R-WI). “Taylor and Tail Gunner Joe were seen canoodling at a diner in his hometown of Appleton, and we can confirm that the two are officially an item,” Popsugar.com blogger Michelle Lee said of the blossoming romance between the 23-year-old pop star and the fiery anti-communist crusader, nicknaming the couple “McSwift.” “Taylor really admires Joe’s patriotism and loves the way he’s so committed to his causes. He’s just an unpretentious Midwestern guy from Wisconsin, and that’s exactly what she needs right now.” At press time, sources reported that Taylor and McCarthy had been spotted cozying up in the back of a hearing at the State Department.

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