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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Taylor Swift Now In Long-Distance Relationship With Curiosity Rover

NEW YORK—Slowing things down after a string of on-again, off-again romances, sources confirmed today that pop star Taylor Swift is currently in a long-distance relationship with NASA’s Curiosity Rover. “Taylor is really serious about Curiosity, and even though the distance is tough, she’s determined to make the relationship work,” Defamer.com writer Katie Jensen said of the 23-year-old country crooner and the six-wheeled automated motor vehicle, nicknaming the couple “Trover.” “Taylor has visited Mars every chance she’s gotten, but she’s not crazy about the temperature, and would prefer it if Curiosity moved to L.A. at some point down the road. Still, she’s definitely in love and she would move to the Red Planet in a heartbeat if Curiosity asked her.” At press time, sources confirmed the infatuated Swift was sending private X-band radio waves to the rover’s UHF antenna.

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