adBlockCheck

TBS Once Again Leads All Networks In Leslie Nielsen Ratings

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

TBS Once Again Leads All Networks In Leslie Nielsen Ratings

ATLANTA—For the ninth consecutive year, the Turner Broadcasting System once again leads all broadcast and cable networks in the Leslie Nielsen ratings, according to data released by the Leslie Nielsen Media Research organization Monday. "With repeated broadcasts of such top Nielsen-share draws as Airplane!, The Naked Gun trilogy, and Dracula: Dead And Loving It, TBS once again maintains its forefront in bluff, hapless television," media writer Mark Schaffer said. "Spike TV and USA still maintain their distant second and third place." Over 2,000 households a year are chosen to participate as Nielsen families and receive a bland-looking monitoring unit that blinks affably, falls off the top of the TV at inappropriate moments, and frequently bungles its simple data-transmission tasks.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close