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TBS's Department Of Humor Analysis Fails To Find Humor In Braves Games

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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TBS's Department Of Humor Analysis Fails To Find Humor In Braves Games

ATLANTA—With the Braves recently sinking into last place in the National League East, the TBS network's in-house Department Of Humor Analysis is having difficulty figuring out what is "very funny" about Atlanta Braves baseball. "Being the worst team in their division is a little funny, I suppose," said DHA head analyst John Cleese, who had just finished analyzing several scenes from Dumb And Dumber. "But seeing as how the team combines their dismal won-loss record with a total lack of personality, well, even the famed quantum humorists at our prestigious Department Of Humor Analysis can't find anything funny about that." Cleese added that, even if their season continues to go poorly or they find some miraculous way to win, the depression or euphoria that would inevitably follow might be better suited for broadcast on TNT, which claims to "know drama."

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