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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Team Roadie Accidentally Sets Lakers' Basket 8 Feet High

NEW ORLEANS—The Lakers are claiming that burnout and fatigue during their long road swing led to a team roadie accidentally setting the basket at a sub-regulation 8 feet before their game against the Hornets Monday night. "We didn't even notice right away, but when Kobe jumped up for an alley-oop, hit his thighs on the top of the backboard, and tumbled behind it, we were all like, 'Dammit, Glenn!'" center Andrew Bynum said during a postgame press conference. "I mean, Glenn's a good guy, we love him, we'd have to do all that stuff ourselves if it wasn't for him and his crew, but how do you miss that?" The Lakers, who lost the game 108-100 due to unusually poor shooting from the field, said they were considering disciplinary action against the roadie, who had reportedly also failed to remove the brown M&Ms from the snack tray in the team's hotel suite.

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