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Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Team Roadie Accidentally Sets Lakers' Basket 8 Feet High

NEW ORLEANS—The Lakers are claiming that burnout and fatigue during their long road swing led to a team roadie accidentally setting the basket at a sub-regulation 8 feet before their game against the Hornets Monday night. "We didn't even notice right away, but when Kobe jumped up for an alley-oop, hit his thighs on the top of the backboard, and tumbled behind it, we were all like, 'Dammit, Glenn!'" center Andrew Bynum said during a postgame press conference. "I mean, Glenn's a good guy, we love him, we'd have to do all that stuff ourselves if it wasn't for him and his crew, but how do you miss that?" The Lakers, who lost the game 108-100 due to unusually poor shooting from the field, said they were considering disciplinary action against the roadie, who had reportedly also failed to remove the brown M&Ms from the snack tray in the team's hotel suite.

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