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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Team USA Happy To Be Back Playing For Money

MIAMI—Back with their respective teams after a second disappointing showing in the World Baseball Classic, Team USA expressed relief to be playing for money again instead of the national pride that supposedly motivates them in the international tournament. "It really feels good to get back to being tangibly compensated for every baseball activity I perform," said third baseman Chipper Jones, who played in three of Team USA's eight games and struck out six times. "It was interesting for a little bit, donating some pro bono swings to my country, but it didn't feel completely right, like there was something missing. Something like money. I'm really looking forward to making some money again." Jones then placed a call to the commissioner's office to see if his recently displayed patriotism had made him more marketable.

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