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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Tearful Rex Grossman: 'I Was Intercepted A Lot As A Child'

CHICAGO—Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, responding to being benched following his three-interception performance in a loss to the Dallas Cowboys, had to stop speaking in order to wrestle with his emotions at a post-game press conference Tuesday in which he tearfully admitted to reporters that as a child his friends and family would abuse him mercilessly on the football field by repeatedly picking off all of his throws. "I grew up terrified of what my mother or father would say if I took a sack, so I'd just throw the ball up for grabs as hard as I could," said Grossman, recalling a post-Thanksgiving-dinner outing in which his parents intercepted every pass meant for his friends and vice versa. "My first memory is playing touch football in my backyard and just wishing that the game would end, but they just seemed to go on forever. I'd just close my eyes and throw the ball and pray it would reach the right person, but my dad, uncle, creepy older cousin, or best friend always seemed to take advantage of my poor throws." A sobbing Grossman also confessed that his childhood pet Rocky, an elderly cocker spaniel, would often come up from behind him while he was holding the ball and nuzzle it with such force that he would fumble.

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