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Tech Is The Future, Reports Local Dad

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Science & Technology

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Tech Is The Future, Reports Local Dad

NAPERVILLE, IL—Beginning his remarks by saying “These tech guys, I’ll tell you what,” local dad Alan Estlin stressed in conversation with his daughter today the important role he foresees the technology industry playing in the future. “Tech: that’s where it’s at,” said the 48-year-old tile supplier, adding that “kids today should all be going to school for tech” and that “a few years down the road, it’ll all be tech.” “Computers. The internet. Anyone with half a brain can see things are heading in that direction. And it’s all in California; that’s where it’s happening.” Sources say Estlin elaborated on his projections for the technology sector for upwards of 10 minutes, concluding that “in this job market, if you get a degree in computers, they’re gonna be banging down your door.”

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